13 Chains That Bind Our Lives And Limit Our Freedom

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Freedom is obtained when we find our way out of the chains that bind us and restrict our understanding of reality. Below are 12 significant chains that I have been bound by, and that I see restricting others. It is by no means an exhaustive list, but rather a starting point for awareness building.

Money

The 90’s band The Verve said it best in their hit song “Bittersweet Symphony”:

“It's a bittersweet symphony, this life.

Try to make ends meet

You're a slave to the money

Then you die.”

Enough said for now.

“Success”/Hard Work/Busyness

For many in Western culture, this is THE chain that binds (in conjunction with “money.”) How many spend most of the days of their adult lives putting on uncomfortable clothes, fighting traffic, and slaving away for 8-12 hours at a job they don’t enjoy and resent? Once this chain in broken, the flow of freedom accelerates.

Physical Insecurity

The world can certainly be a dangerous place. But anxiety over potential injury or death (especially at the hands of an attacker) can bind us and limit us. This is a tricky category, and finding the balance that nurtures greater freedom in the context of relative safety is a lifelong challenge.

Low Self-Esteem/Self-Confidence

Believing you can do something doesn’t guarantee that you can do it. But believing that you can’t do it certainly means that you won’t. Especially if you believe that the reason you can’t is because of a personal flaw or deficiency. Breaking this chain is often the very first step on the path toward greater freedom.

Body Image

For women (and increasingly for men), the “low self-esteem” chain is often coupled with struggles with body image. Even those who are considered good-looking can be driven by internal anxieties over their appearance that limit greater freedom.

Sexual Repression

Too much here for one paragraph. This is a huge barrier to freedom in American culture, tied in with a number of other categories.

Fear of Death

Related to physical safety, but in a less immediate way. “What happens to me after I die?” This simple question that every child thinks to ask drives some of our deepest anxieties that bind us, especially when it comes to religious belief.

Fear of A Relationship Ending

Most powerfully in romantic and marriage relationships, but also in parent-child and other types of relationships. Co-dependency creates the sense that one’s well-being and happiness is dependent on another person, which creates extremely limiting anxieties when that relationship is threatened. Greater freedom is found in cherishing relationships, but also understanding that we will be OK should one come to an end.

Patriotism/Nationalism

Perhaps the most relevant example of ultimate loyalty being given to a non-absolute, human created entity. Nations may be useful as political tools, but they only exist in our collective minds. The fact that many are willing to make their national identity their primary identity, and even die for their country, indicates a huge chain that limits our path to freedom. Ironic, huh?

Consumerism

In the relative affluence of modern Western culture, many have come to believe that self-worth and a sense of security depends on the material possessions that are owned. Our consumerism binds us into attitudes of selfishness and anxiety over losing our “stuff.” Greater freedom lies not necessarily in a life of poverty, but in an attitude toward possessions that is more giving and non-attached.

“What Others Think About Me”

Many never grow past the middle school-age hyper-awareness of what “other people are thinking about me” that drives so much insecurity. Even those who have reached a place of greater awareness can fall back into this heightened social anxiety in certain contexts. When we realize that most of the people we meet in the world are wrapped up in their own concerns and aren’t thinking about us at all, these invisible chains give way to a startling realization of freedom and opportunity.

Expectations From Others

Related to “what others think about me,” but in a more personal and long-term sense. What our parents hoped we would do with our life. The things our spouse would like to change about us. The level of productivity the boss demands. These expectations are real, but they can bind us if we don’t learn to self-differentiate and operate out of our own sense of self-worth and purpose.

Permanent Adolescence

Again, too much to say in one paragraph. Except that we are more and more becoming a society of adults who are emotional adolescents. A huge chain that feeds into many of these other categories.