In one of the churches I pastored early in my career, I encountered what is known as an “antagonist.” This is a person within the congregation who intentionally sows discord and distrust in an effort to antagonize (and usually chase off) the pastor. It is not a fun experience to be on the receiving end of.
Here is how a conversation with this person went at a Session meeting:
Elder: I have a few concerns to share. Some people are telling me your sermons are too long. Others say your hospital visits are too short. And I think your neckties are too flashy and not appropriate for a man of the cloth.
Me: Thank you for sharing. I will take those concerns into consideration.
Elder: Also, I noticed that your wife doesn’t seem happy here. She rarely speaks to me after worship.
Me: She’s just shy. She’s uncomfortable in large, crowded spaces like the narthex at the end of the service.
Elder: Well maybe you should say something to her. People can interpret that as her being rude, and not wanting to be a part of the church.
Me: We have talked about it. I have reminded her that she doesn’t have to take on roles in the church she doesn’t want to, since she’s not on staff.
Elder: Well, she should want to greet people after church. Did you know she was like this when you married her?
At this point, I changed the subject of the conversation, because I knew this antagonists’s game. Unable to rattle me with his litany of complaints, he had then tried a “divide and conquer” technique. I knew that if I had agreed with him about my wife, or said anything negative about her, he would have reported my feelings back to her - thus beginning a process of back and forth “division making” that antagonists thrive on.
Ultimately, he would have used any conflict he helped create in my marriage as evidence of my not being fit to be their pastor. Fortunately, I had good seminary professors who prepared me for this kind of attack.
Using Biblical language to describe such a process, we could call it “demonic.” Recall that “demonic” does not simply mean “evil” or “of the devil.” It is an ancient concept used to describe any outside agent that seeks to divide. In fact, if you parse out the syllables of the word, you get “de-mon,” and since “mon” means “one,” we can literally translate it as “undoing the one” or “destroying unity.”
The great figures of faith Scripture are more than familiar with these demonic agents. Jesus encounters tormented individuals who have divided personalities; Peter and the other apostles are called to witness to outsiders who have been divided from mainstream society; and Paul counsels churches facing difficult internal divisions. These stories remind us that the frustrating divisions we encounter in church and in the world are nothing new. We have been victimized by this “divide conquer” dis-ease since the beginning.
In my next post, I will share more about my experience with the church antagonist, and what I have learned about how to effectively neutralize these demonic forces that inhibit our ministries.
